Some women go natural by choice, others are forced to, either for health reasons or other. Everybody has a story. But it doesn’t matter which category you fall under, one thing is for sure, you should never feel obligated to justify or explain your natural to anyone.
I decided to write this post because since making the decision to go natural or return to natural (as some like to call it), I’ve been put in many situations where people always feel the need to comment or have an opinion about my hair.
At times I don’t mind it, but at times it’s just plain annoying. And many times, unfortunately, I find myself falling into the trap of giving some kind of explanation about my natural hair. Then I start thinking to myself: “Why do I even grace them with a response?”. But of course, it is usually too late when the thought surfaces.
Plenty of women have similar experiences, especially when they are newly natural. So I dedicate this post to you!
Your hair is your own, just like your body is your own. You do with your hair as you please. It makes you who you are. Whether you chose to be natural, relaxed, wear weaves, wigs, locs etc… You should not bother to grace anyone with an explanation when they make stupid comments or start asking stupid questions about your natural hair.
It probably won’t be easy, and you probably will need some practice before you can master the “It’s none of your business” response. But I assure you it is the best way to keep the negative and the explaining away. At the end of the day, you will feel happier about telling someone to kick rocks versus going over a long explanation about your natural hair choices.
Sometimes it can be a compliment about your hairstyles, but quite often, it will be something sleek or something negative. The sooner you realize you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your hair, the easier it will be for you to deal with the negatives.
My worst critique is my mother. She sometimes laughs when I try different hairstyles. Better yet, she has no problems telling me how ugly my hair looks. At first, I would let that affect me. But when I found the guts to tell her to kick rocks (not in those exact words), I felt more powerful and much better about myself and my choices.
Always remember that not everybody will understand, let alone support your journey. But also remember that you don’t need anyone’s approval to do the things you chose to do with your natural hair.
Many people make mean jokes, or stupid comments about your hair only because a lot of times, they’re jealous. They wish they could have the guts to do what you’re doing. They hate the fact that you have more confidence than them to rock your natural and look fabulous doing it. So allowing yourself to give them any explanation is allowing yourself to fall into their trap of sucking the confidence out of you.
You went natural for a reason. That reason could’ve been curiosity, the need for change, healthier hair, health reason etc… Whatever your reason may have been, always remember your “Why”. If your “Why” isn’t strong enough, you will quickly revert back to your old ways. I spoke about this in a previous post. Read more about it here. So don’t give anyone the power to make you question your natural.
Although the natural hair community is mighty strong, things can happen to make you question your choices, or feel diffident. Only you have the control over your reactions when the hate gets thrown at you. Fortunately telling people to mind their own business is a simple, yet effective way to get rid of their negative vibe and not lose your confidence.
You can tell them to:
Last, but not least, you can Ignore, ignore, ignore.
Have you dealt with any negative Nancys when it comes to your natural hair? If so, how do you handle people being mean? What would you add to this list? Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
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I've been natural for 8 years I never looked for anyone's approval because I found peace in my decision to not put chemicals in my hair. I have enjoyed this journey.
I have been natural only a few months now. No one has been negative though but I have had a few questions from my hair stylist especially when my hair hurts. Every decision we make has got its highs and lows but you owe no one an explanation. Nice post
ngraffi.blogspot.com
Thank you! Good luck on your journey!
I say be you and forget everyone else. I am not natural and people ask why. I don't ever respond to that question. Everyone is entitled to do what they want with their hair.
Thanks, I agree!
I've been mostly natural for 12 years. I'm so thankful I've never had any negative comments made to my face about my natural hair. People can be cruel sometimes.
Cruel and annoying.
love this! I want to go natural but I will admit I am only natural inside my house. When I leave I put on a wig or I wear braids and twist. I want to be bold enough to go natural all the way
You just have to go for it. Don’t be intimidated. Embrace it. Don’t worry about what people say or what you think they may say. Just do it!
You just have to go for it. Don't be intimidated. Embrace it. Don't worry about what people say or what you think they may say. Just do it!
LOVE this post so much. I agree you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone. Your hair is your hair. There's faaar too much politics in the natural/black hair community it's such a shame
You're right. We all should be able to do what we please to our hair (relaxed or natural) without people being in our ears.
I totally agree with you its my hair and im not obligated to you in any way to answer
Most definitely!