Some women go natural by choice, others are forced to, either for health reasons or other. Everybody has a story. But it doesn’t matter which category you fall under, one thing is for sure, you should never feel obligated to justify or explain your natural to anyone.
I decided to write this post because since making the decision to go natural or return to natural (as some like to call it), I’ve been put in many situations where people always feel the need to comment or have an opinion about my hair.
At times I don’t mind it, but at times it’s just plain annoying. And many times, unfortunately, I find myself falling into the trap of giving some kind of explanation about my natural hair. Then I start thinking to myself: “Why do I even grace them with a response?”. But of course, it is usually too late when the thought surfaces.
Plenty of women have similar experiences, especially when they are newly natural. So I dedicate this post to you!
As a grown woman, you should not have to justify your natural to anyone.
Your hair is your own, just like your body is your own. You do with your hair as you please. It makes you who you are. Whether you chose to be natural, relaxed, wear weaves, wigs, locs etc… You should not bother to grace anyone with an explanation when they make stupid comments or start asking stupid questions about your natural hair.
It probably won’t be easy, and you probably will need some practice before you can master the “It’s none of your business” response. But I assure you it is the best way to keep the negative and the explaining away. At the end of the day, you will feel happier about telling someone to kick rocks versus going over a long explanation about your natural hair choices.
Everyone will have an opinion about your natural hair. That’s a given.
Sometimes it can be a compliment about your hairstyles, but quite often, it will be something sleek or something negative. The sooner you realize you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your hair, the easier it will be for you to deal with the negatives.
My worst critique is my mother. She sometimes laughs when I try different hairstyles. Better yet, she has no problems telling me how ugly my hair looks. At first, I would let that affect me. But when I found the guts to tell her to kick rocks (not in those exact words), I felt more powerful and much better about myself and my choices.
Not everyone will support your journey.
Always remember that not everybody will understand, let alone support your journey. But also remember that you don’t need anyone’s approval to do the things you chose to do with your natural hair.
Many people make mean jokes, or stupid comments about your hair only because a lot of times, they’re jealous. They wish they could have the guts to do what you’re doing. They hate the fact that you have more confidence than them to rock your natural and look fabulous doing it. So allowing yourself to give them any explanation is allowing yourself to fall into their trap of sucking the confidence out of you.
Don’t let anybody make you question your natural.
You went natural for a reason. That reason could’ve been curiosity, the need for change, healthier hair, health reason etc… Whatever your reason may have been, always remember your “Why”. If your “Why” isn’t strong enough, you will quickly revert back to your old ways. I spoke about this in a previous post. Read more about it here. So don’t give anyone the power to make you question your natural.
Although the natural hair community is mighty strong, things can happen to make you question your choices, or feel diffident. Only you have the control over your reactions when the hate gets thrown at you. Fortunately telling people to mind their own business is a simple, yet effective way to get rid of their negative vibe and not lose your confidence.
Here are 6 easy ways you can get rid of people hating on your natural hair.
You can tell them to:
- Kick rocks
- Please mind your own business.
- It’s my hair, and I owe you no explanation.
- My hair is none of your concerns.
- It’s my hair and I will do as I please.
- Unless you’re paying for it I suggest you stop talking about my hair.
Last, but not least, you can Ignore, ignore, ignore.
I’m sure some of you can relate to this post.
Have you dealt with any negative Nancys when it comes to your natural hair? If so, how do you handle people being mean? What would you add to this list? Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
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